Among the changes I have noticed in myself recently is a different awareness of elements in my own character that I had previously thought impossible to change. Now, I see that with work it will be possible to change them. The particular element that I have in mind is that when I decide to do something it is difficult for me to heed the common sense voice of my inner guide. I feel a pressure to just push harder in the direction that I started and that everything will work out exactly as I hoped.
This pressure binds me to the material world as if whatever I am doing is of vital importance and needs to go just the way that I intended. It asserts the importance of my will and blinds me to both common sense and attention to God's presence.
The effects of this pressure are easy to see in material events. For example, I set out to go to the store two days ago with the forecast of rain. It didn't look bad and I didn't have an umbrella handy. I would have had to go out of my way for five minutes and I felt determined to get there quickly and come back. I walked outside and felt a suggestion of rain but didn't turn back. I ignored the voice of common sense because of this pressure to push forward.
Another example is picking up a table to move and knowing that it was a tight squeeze but had made it in the past but ignoring a voice of caution for a determination that if I persist everything will work out. I just didn't want to pause and take a step back. Now the wall and the table both have slight nicks. Such little acts of stupidity occur on the average of ten times a day. The more active I am the more they happen.
The change that I referred to is that instead of annoying me as they did in the past, each new error reminds me of my need to no longer be dominated by this pressure. The impulse is becoming a signal to heed the voice of common sense, the most superficial manifestation of my inner guide.
This is an example of how as you mature you see your failings more clearly but aren't discouraged because you have seen how a certain kind of awareness of your faults is the first step in improving yourself. Let me know how you distinguish between a constructive awareness of your faults and a blind awareness that doesn't lead to change. You can respond to this email by clicking on the link http://www.decodeyourmessages.com/content/repeat-seeing-yourself-more-clearly or by adding an experience to the website by clicking on the link http://decodeyourmessages.com/node/add/experience .